The Ingram’s – Our saying has always been when it’s right it’s right and when you know, you know. And we knew we were meant to spend a lifetime together immediately. We live on the TN river in Rogersville, AL, and are true to the core “river rats”. We absolutely love spending every minute possible in and on the water with friends and family, and we are very blessed that our families live close to us. We enjoy anything outdoors- wakeboarding, surfing, skiing, fishing, hunting, and traveling. But we also both share the same dream to have a family. I remember when we were doing our pre-martial counseling with our preacher that he asked us how many kids we wanted to have and we said 4. And yes we would still love a house full, and we still have hopes for 4. But it appears that we will be very blessed if we are able to have just one. So far we have experienced a very emotional and physical journey trying to see our dream of having children come true. But this is our story-The Ingram’s River Ride, and we wanted to have a way so that all of our friends and family from near and far could have a way to keep up with what was going on with our baby journey. So sit back and enjoy our “river ride”. I want to be sure and say first of all that if it wasn’t for the following I wouldn’t have made it through all of this # 1 God and the faith and hope he provides # 2 Jason– he is my rock- the love and care he gives me is so amazing to me and # 3 The love and support from SO MANY who we are blessed to call our friends and family from near and far. We are RICHLY blessed to have so many people who care about us and pray for us and please know that we are so grateful for each and every one of you. I have tried to go back and capture everything that has happened in the last year so I am sure I will forget some things. And I might as well apologize ahead of time if the blog seems as though a 4th grader is submitting the posts because I have a hard time putting my thoughts on paper and that along with my “kuntry lingo” should be interesting. :)




Thursday, January 14, 2010 - Worst Day of Our Lives

A day we will NEVER forget. It’s taken a long time before I was able to write this.
Honestly I felt good about everything and was confident that everything was going to be fine on this morning, so I wasn’t worried about the doctor’s apt and wasn’t expecting anything other than good news. Jason had some work appointments that day and I assured him that everything was fine and that me and mom would go to the doctor together. We had to be in B’ham really early as usual but I enjoyed the ride there with mom. Of course as soon as I get there they take your blood (if I have given blood once in the last year I have given blood 100 times). They immediately took me back to the u/s room. I asked mom to come with me b/c I wanted her to see the babies. The “expert” u/s tech turned the screen so we could see and said (with no compassion at all) “I’m sorry there’s no easy way to say this, but there isn’t a heartbeat on either baby.” I was in total shock, I didn’t say a word. She then spent another 10 min looking at other things and said that when I came out to go across the hall and talk to Dr. Honea. Mom hugged my neck and I got ready to talk to the doctor. When we walked in she spent the first 5 min going on and on about how great everything looked and I realized that she had no clue what the u/s tech just saw. I stopped her and said that the u/s tech didn’t see a h/b. She was so embarrassed b/c they are suppose to tell her those things beforehand. She was very compassionate and set me up for a D&C to remove them for the next morning. The purpose is to send them off for chromosome testing to see if that was the cause of the loss. She said best case scenario would be that there was a chromosome defect with them b/c then we would know the cause and it is so rare that the chance of it happening again is very slim. They let me out the side door and sent us to the pre-admission testing section of the hospital to fill out lots of forms for the next morning. Even still I have shown no emotion. I think it is partly b/c I am still in shock and also b/c I don’t want to get upset in front of mom b/c then she will get upset and I will just get worse. I just wanted to get home to Jason more than anything in the world. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t take anything for mom being there with me, I just didn’t want her to get upset. I needed her at that moment to keep me ok and that's what she did. I didnt want to talk about it and she knew that and kept my mind occupied on other things. It’s been hours since my doctor’s apt and we are still at the hospital so I am getting several texts from Jason wondering how it went. So I went out in the hall to call him and tried very hard not to lose it on the phone. He didn’t say much just asked what they said and what they were going to do and how was I doing. I could tell he was taken back. I didn’t get to talk long b/c I had to go back in to the office but I wanted him to know. Me and mom finally finished setting everything up at the hospital for the next morning and left for home. I still didn’t to get upset and I just wanted to talk about other stuff. So we talked about Casey’s wedding and all the ideas they are coming up with for their wedding. Jason would send messages all along the way asking how I was doing and where we were. When I got home Jason was waiting in the driveway for me and we walked upstairs and then and there was where I wanted to be. I was in his arms and I lost it. All we knew to do was hold each other. And he had done the sweetest thing – when he found out what had happened, he knew that the last thing I wanted to see was anything that anything to do with Christmas. That’s b/c all Christmas holidays we associated everything with the babies, how it would be our last Christmas without children, how we got the best Christmas gift ever in the babies, even had special ornaments for the babies, etc. And he was right I wouldn’t have wanted to see any of that. So Jason, Adam, and his parents worked feverishly to take down our 13’ live tree and all of the Christmas decorations in our home before I got home. And if you saw how many decorations we had you would truly appreciate that effort! That was just the sweetest thing ever. Love you Jason! He also put away anything in the whole house that had anything to do with a baby whether it be a baby shower invitation, my meds, u/s pics, etc. Sadly I still feel sick, but I know I have to rest b/c we have to be back in B’ham very early in the morning for the D&C. I will definitely take some Tylenol pm tonight so I will sleep.
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