Gender Determination at 17 weeks - Thursday Oct 20th, 2010

We had our appointment yesterday to see what the babies are! And... Baby B is for sure a BOY and is a VERY active boy - he is what i have been feeling for a few weeks now. And Baby A didn't cooperate very well and had its umbilical cord between its legs. Baby A is for sure the laid back baby ha ha. So we will go to Nashville (only b/c I cant wait 4 more weeks to find out at my next appointment what Baby A is) to a place that all they do is 4D ultrasounds and gender determination on Oct. 30th. SO hopefully Baby A will cooperate then and we will know what both babies are! Thank the good Lord everything at our appointment looked great and that's all that matters!

Yay for 13 weeks!!! - Thursday Sept. 23, 2010

I have not been good at keeping up with our blog or adding pics, but I will try to do better :) God you are so good!!!! We got to see the babies today! They both looked great and were moving like crazy. They said if they will cooperate that we might get to find out what they are at our next apt Oct. 20th! See their pics below from this proud Mama! :)

Still Trusting God with them - September 10, 2010

Wow! It has been so long since I have posted on here and so much has happened since our last post that there's no way I could do justice in trying to catch up on it all. Thanks Leslie for reminding me to update the blog! I am currently 11 weeks and 1 day and so far everything looks good. Since our last post we have seen the babies several times on ultrasounds and got to see and hear their hearts beating and also got to see them moving around in there. It is amazing to be able to see tiny little hands and feet even though their bodies are so tiny. I have been sick everyday - not just morning, but noon, afternoon, and all night. But I've never been happier to feel so bad ha ha. Thankfully I get to take zofran and phenergan everyday! I go back to the doctor (the fertility doctor has released me to a regular OB) on Sept. 20th and I am hoping and praying that they are both still doing just perfect. I'm just trusting God with them. I will try to get their pictures on here asap!

And they came TWO by TWO! Wednesday - August 4, 2010

Today was our first ultrasound and I am 5 weeks 6 days, and we saw TWO babies. Jason and the nurse said they saw both of their heartbeats but I couldnt see it. She said it was pretty early to be seeing it anyway. So we are going back to the doctor Friday to have another look and see if there are two strong heartbeats then. But both babies are measuring exactly what they should and look great! To God be the glory!!!! A friend of mine posted this on our facebook page "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." Our faith rests in God alone to wrap his Holy hands around these tiny babies and protect them and help them to grow and develop perfectly. Thank you Jesus!

PRAISE GOD! IT'S POSITIVE - Thursday, July 22, 2010

Our first beta today (bloodwork that tells if it is a positive pregnancy test) was POSITIVE! Thank You Lord!!! I have been really nauseated for the last 4 days which I was thankful for ha ha. I go back in one week to do the same blood test to make sure that my numbers are doubling like they should and if they are then we will go back in two weeks for an ultrasound. God is SO GOOD! Thank each and every one of you for lifting us up to God in prayer - please continue to do so b/c we still have many hurdles ahead. As we know we have been here before and things can turn bad in a hurry, but we are trusting God that this pregnancy will be a success :) PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD!!!!

A word from God - Sunday, July 18th 2010

We had a guest preacher at church for the morning and evening worship b/c Bro. Tim is in South Africa. I truly look forward to seeing and hearing God work through Bro. Bill Stafford each time he visits. If you ever get a chance to hear him you wont be disappointed. And if you have seen the movie Fireproof, then you have already seen him in the movie. Anyway, in the evening service the children sang and told of what they learned at camp the week before. And the entire time I was watching these children I was getting afraid/sad/worrying b/c I kept asking myself if I find out Thursday that it was a success and I am pregnant then "when can I get excited?". I dont want to miss out on times that I should be enjoying due to worrying. So I just kept asking meself if I'm pregnant when can I get excited. Then it came time for Bro. Bill to take the pulpit, and he said "As I was sitting in my chair God led me in a totally different direction than what I had intended on preaching on. And the title of the message is When can you trust God?". I thought oh wow this one is for me! And it was exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you God for a fresh word from heaven! I highly recommend going to clementsbaptist.org and listening to his sermon online. Big picture is I can and will trust Him now and if I get a positive result Thursday I will be excited and trust Him. :)

Tranfsfer Day - Lucky 13th! = Tuesday July 13th, 2010

Praise God - great is Thy faithfullness! We were able to transfer 2 beautiful embryos!!!! There were no other survivors to be able to freeze. Now it is time to rest and pray these little embies stick in their new environment!

Come on little embies! - Friday July 9, 2010

Well the nurse called with our fertilization report. Of the 10 eggs retrieved, 6 were mature, and of those 6 only 4 fertilized. So now we just hope and pray for those little 4 embies to grow and mature and make it until the transfer next Tuesday. They will call us Sunday morning to give us a report of how many made it until Sunday and what their quality are. Then they wont look at them again unil the morning of the transfer. I have peace knowing it is in God's hands.

Egg Retrieval Complete - Thursday, July 8, 2010

After a bright and early drive to B'ham this morning, the egg retrieval is done. They collected 10 EGGS!!!! Praise God - Yay!!! That's not alot for the average bear, but that is good for me. Tomorrow they will call and tell us how many of the 10 are mature and of those how many fertilized. For now, its time to lay very still and take pain pills. When we arrived home from the surgery, our home was 89 degrees (the heat index outside is 111). The motor in our AC unit burned up. Good thing Mom and Dad are close - we will enjoy their AC until ours is fixed. :) Please continue to keep us in your prayers. One hurdle down, several to go between now and the transfer next Tuesday.

We finally made it to egg retrieval!!! - Thursday July 7, 2010

Praise God! We have finally made it back to the point that I responded well enough to the shots/meds to qualify for IVF again. The retrieval will be tomorrow (7/8/10) at 0830 in B'ham. We are excited to make it to this point again, but at the same time very nervous/anxious about getting past the several hurdles we will face in the next week to make it to the point to transfer the embryos back in me. I have less follicles this time than I did the very first time we did IVF, but we are still full of faith and hope that this will be a success. Please continue to keep us in your prayers - the next couple of weeks will be very critical.

Update - Thursday, July 1st, 2010

I started the shots this past Sunday and today (Thursday) I went for bloodwork and an ultrasound to see if I am responding to the meds. I did have some follicles that are growing which is a good sign. So now we go to the doctor in B'ham Sunday morning for them to look again and see how many follicles are maturing which will allow them to decide if I responded well enough to do invitro this time or not. Praying all those follies keep growing so we can harvest some eggs next week!

Green Light - Friday June 25th, 2010

Well we have definately been enjoying summer and I am loving it! I think I am about to wear Jason out though so he is probably grateful that I will be restricted to what I can do while taking the shots ha ha. We got the green light after our doctor's appt today to be able to start the shots again Sunday. YAY!!! We are hoping and praying that I will respond well to the meds this time! I go back to the doctor next Thursday to see if and how well I am responding to the shots. Please continue to keep us in your prayers - we are very hopeful that this will be a success this time.

Change of Plans - Wednesday May 13, 2010

Today was an emotional roller coaster. I ended up talking with the doctor 4 times today and finally around 4pm they called with a "change of plans". They got my results back from my blood work from earlier in the day, and my fsh level was too high to do ivf. Mine is normally high (high isnt a good thing), but it was the highest it has ever been today. So Dr. Honea said she didn't have a good feeling about trying to do invitro this cycle with that high of an fsh level. Fsh measures how well your ovaries are functioning and is also indicative of your egg reserve, and a high number means you have a lower reserve than you should have and that your ovaries arent functioning as they should. So the new plan is to sit this cycle out, wait a month, and they will check me in a month to see if my fsh level dropped, if my cysts went away, and hopefully by then we will have a bunch of follicles on the ultrasound (there was only three today, which also isnt enough to do ivf). So like I said yesterday, "When God has another plan, walk on and just say yes and know that He knows best." :) Prayer warriors please be praying for a low fsh level, no cysts, and lots of follicles next month. Thank you all so much for your love, prayers, and support!

Every Down Is a New Beginning - Tuesday May 11, 2010

Well we found out yesterday that the iui was unsuccessful. I talked to the doctor today and she said that I will start the bcp tomorrow (you have to take bcp for 2-3 weeks before starting the shots for ivf to suppress your system)to get ready for the next ivf cycle. I should get my calendar of what shots I will take when this week. But it looks like they are swapping me back to the protocol that I used the first time and just increasing the dosage. I love this song and just wanted to share its beautiful words:

"When GOD Has Another Plan"

Forsaken by his brothers, Didn't fit the scene
Being made a slave, Was not what Joseph dreamed
The coat of many colors was stained, with blood and lies
But from this divine appointment, a ruler would arise.

When GOD has another plan, walk on and just say yes
When GOD has another plan Be assured that HE knows best.
When all your dreams are shattered rest in HIS sufficient grace
We don't have to understand when GOD has another plan

Alone and brokenhearted, Questions fill your mind
Changes can be hard, That comes by GOD's design
But if you could see tomorrow, with a view from heaven's throne
Every unexpected struggle has led you closer home.

IUI - Wednesday April 28th, 2010

We did an IUI (artificial insemination) this morning, and we will find out if it worked or not Monday May 9th. Calling all prayer warriors!

I got to be a part of a VERY special day today and I was so grateful to get to share in their joy! Leslie, Paul, and Rena had their first ultrasound today and we got to see TWO heartbeats!!! Praise God!

Cancelled IVF but still have hope for IUI - Monday, April 26, 2010

We traveled to B'ham early Saturday morning and the doctors still said that the chance of me being able to do invitro this cycle didnt look good. But that they wanted me to keep taking the stimulation shots to try and get those follicles to grow. Only one was big enough to be classified as mature. They wont let you do ivf unless you have at least 4, and in my case due to poor egg quality they said they would be really hesitant even if I ended up with 4 to proceed. But there is a risky fine line that you walk b/c you cant keep trying to make the smaller ones grow to the point that the one large one ruptures. So the plan was to continue with the stim shots until Monday and come back to the doctor and see what happened.
Monday morning we went back to the doctor and it is a definite no go with invitro - I just didnt produce enough follicles. So to keep from wasting the meds and shots we will be doing an iui (artificial insemination) this Wednesday. Maybe this will be our blessing in disguise and the iui will be a success! Either way God is still in control and we are trusting Him. So please be praying for us for this Wednesday - hopefully it will yield a positive result.

Well..... Thursday, April 22, 2010

Well I had my checkup appointment today to see how well I am responding to the stimulation shots. For some reason even though this was a higher dose of meds than last time, I didnt respond near as well this time as last time. I will go back to the doctor in B'ham Saturday and they will look again. But there is a chance that they will cancel my ivf cycle since I responded poorly. If they do cancel it, then we will do an iui (artificial insemination) again just to keep from wasting the meds. Even though an iui only has a less than 10% chance of success, we would give it a try. But we really wont know for sure which route we will have to take until Saturday. So please keep us in your prayers. We are being still God and knowing you are in control. Our hope rests in you alone.

On a brighter note - our friends Matt and Tasha had a beautiful baby girl this morning - Lillie Kate! I got to see her after my doctor's appointment and she is just beautiful!

Here we go again! Thursday, April 15, 2010

First of all let me say CONGRATULATIONS to Leslie and Paul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christmas baby(ies) on the way!!!!!!!!!! Praise God!!!!!

Well today starts the shot process! I am so eager to get started again! I will probably take them for about 10-12 days and between now and then they will be monitoring me to make sure that I am responding to the meds like I should. So please keep us in your prayers that I will respond well to the medicine this time. Our next doctor’s apt is next Thursday 4/22.

We have a plan! Monday April 5th, 2010

We found out today that the results of the “killer cell” test was normal, which was great news. They also did a SIS test today to make sure that there wasn’t any scarring from the D&C and it looked “textbook perfect” – Yay! And we got our calendar for the next ivf cycle and I will get to start taking the shots again next Thursday, 4/15!!!!! I am so excited to get started again. Although this time they are trying a much higher dose of meds to see if I will respond any better. So I am very eager to see if there is any difference. From most of what I have seen no matter if you have 30 eggs or 9 eggs retrieved most everyone had similar results in the end as to how many they have to transfer and freeze. So I don’t know if it will make any difference or not, but it is worth a try. This time the protocol will be 4 shots a day plus some pills. So please keep us in your prayers!

Yesterday we celebrated the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior and what a glorious day it was in the house of our Lord! I just wanted to stop and thank God for the cross because everything goes back to the cross. Thank you Lord for loving me!

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
A wondrous beauty I see,
For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
To pardon and sanctify me.

"He's still on time" - Tuesday March 30, 2010

We’ve been busy lately so time has flown by really fast. But just as an update I had a test done last week to see if my body has overactive “killer cells”. The body has “killer cells” to fight off infection and cancer, but if mine are overactive then the killer cells would see a baby as a tumor and attack and kill it. We will know the results from this test next week and either way we are still continuing with the plan because it is treatable.

I had my baseline bloodwork and ultrasound done Monday for my next ivf cycle, and it was almost the exact same as it was at this point in my previous ivf cycle. The doctors are taking my file to the board Thursday to see if there is a stronger protocol of meds that they can put me on so that hopefully I will respond better to the stimulation meds this cycle. I started the bcp Monday and will have another test next Monday to make sure that there isn’t any scarring left over from the D&C surgery. And I will get my calendar/schedule of when to start all of the shots and meds next Monday. SO I cant wait to have the plan in front of me! Please keep us in your prayers because we are holding strong to our hope in God.

Also the next week is going to be a HUGE time in our very special friends lives and I am so excited for her retrieval and transfer! Praying for ya’ll!!!!

I told someone the other day that 9 of my close friends are all pregnant now so it’s going to be an exciting year!!!

Easter is this Sunday and I look forward to celebrating that the tomb is EMPTY - He is no longer there – he AROSE and LIVES forevermore!!!! It’s also a reminder that we are on God’s time and God’s timing is perfect. Just when Mary and Martha were disappointed in our Lord because they thought he had come too late to save their brother. But isn't it great when He's four days late- He's still on time! I love this song by Karen Peck – It is such an amazing reminder that God’s timing is perfect.

The news came to Jesus please come fast.
Lazarus is sick and without Your help he will not last.
Mary and Martha watched their brother die
They waited for Jesus- He didn't come.
They wondered why.

The death watch was over; buried four days.
Somebody said He'll soon be here
The Lord's on His way.
Martha ran to Him and then she cried
"Lord if You had been here- You could have healed him. He'd still be alive.

But You're four days late; and all hope is gone.
Lord we don't understand why You've waited so long."
But His way is God's way.
It's not yours or mine
But isn't it great when He's four days late- He's still on time!

Jesus said, "Martha, show Me the grave."
But she said, "Lord You don't understand- he's been there four days!""
The grave stone was rolled back.
Then Jesus cried, "Lazarus! Come forth!"
Then somebody said, "He's ALIVE! He's ALIVE!"

Right know you may be fighting a battle of fear
You've cried to the Lord "I need You now!" But He has not appeared.
My friend don't be discouraged
Cause He's still the same.
He'll be right here and He'll roll back your stone and He'll call out your name!

When He's four days late and all hope is gone
Lord we don't understand why You've waited so long.
But His way is God's way it's not yours or mine
But isn't it great when He's four days late- He's still on time!
Oh my God it's great when he's four days late....He's still on Time!!

Friday March 12 - The test results

The nurse called today and said that they finally got the results back from my tests, but the doctor would be out all next week so she set up a phone call for her to explain them to me on March 22nd. Well you would think that this whole process would have caused me to obtain more patience but not so much ha ha. After debating I called them back and was able to get them to give me the results. Both tests came back normal - I assume that is a good thing. I'm sure the doctor will explain in detail on the 22nd, but basically it means that my body didnt attack the babies or prevent blood from getting to them. I am actually relieved to know that it wasnt something that could have been detected and treated prior to the procedure. I guess that just means that the loss was one of those things that just happens b/c God says so, and we just have to trust and believe. Our next step is an SIS test to make sure that there isnt any scar tissue from the surgery that could cause problems with the next ivf cycle. Please keep us in your prayers that the SIS test will be perfectly normal.

Today is my best friend's birthday and she got an exciting gift in the mail - her bog box of ivf meds!!! I should add that for her birthday I gave her cotton balls and band-aids ha ha. I am so excited for her to get started on this amazing journey! And hopefully we will be able to share our pregnancies together very soon!

Monday, February 22, 2010 - FINALLY!

I got my blood work results back from Friday and my hcg level is finally low enough that they can do the two tests on me to see if I am producing antibodies that attacked the babies or if my blood clotted and prevented blood and nutrients from going to the babies. So Thursday I will give 8 vials of blood for those two tests and we should have the results back next week. If one of those tests is positive, it is treatable with shots. So either way, we plan on doing another IVF cycle as soon as possible, which according to Dr. Honea should be around the end of March. You are required to wait so long to allow your body to get back to normal.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

This was my Valentine's Day surprise from Jason-2 dozen roses and a cupcake that is just my size!!! Man was it good!

Thursday, February 11, 2010-Post Op visit with Dr. Honea

HAPPY BIRHTDAY MOM!!!
Today is our first chance to talk to Dr. Honea since the D&C. I am very nervous and anxious and of course have a list of questions. I guess I just want my HCG level to hurry up and drop low enough so that they can do the testing on me that they need to do so we can move forward and get started again. I hope to leave the doctor’s office today with a plan! 
Well as usual we leave the doctor’s office dishearted. I’m funny – I take in all the information and we talk about it and I analyze it and then it’s like several hours later it hits me and the emotional side kicks in and I get upset. We did leave with a plan though. They are going to test me in 2 weeks to see if my blood is clotting and preventing blood and nutrients from getting to the baby and to see if my body is producing antibodies that attacked the babies. She expects those tests to come back normal. However if they are abnormal, then it is treated by meds or shots. It is a best guesstimate that we could be able to start the bcp to get ready for another IVF cycle around the end of April. Of course there are a lot of “ifs” in that guesstimate. But at least we have something now to look forward to. They will do another SIS test on me before then to make sure there is no scar tissue in my uterus as a result of the D&C prior to starting another IVF cycle. She basically said that my egg count and quality is not good even on the meds and that we were lucky to get pregnant this last time. But IVF definitely overcame the male infertility factor. We are just still struggling with my side of it. She said that if we did the stim shots and an IUI again that our chance of success was <10% and if we did the stim shots and IVF again that our chance of success was about 40%. She said that now that she has data to look at as to how the last IVF cycle went our chances of success are actually less that what she originally thought before we did an IVF cycle. But our plan is to do IVF again. I am hoping that on the next cycle I will respond to the shots better and will produce several good eggs and embryos. She did say we would not qualify for the shared risk program again b/c I am too high risk of not getting pregnant. My hcg level today is 9.5, so we still have a little ways to go. Lord I’m trying to be patient - I know you have a plan and I put my faith and hope in you. I have to keep reminding myself that God’s got a bigger plan goin’ on than what my ole eyes can see.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

HCG today is 31. Come on drop to less than 5!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Today was a very happy day for some of our friends – Miss Haley Joe was born today and we went to see her after work. She weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 20” long. This picture was taken only a few hours after she was born and she is just beautiful! Proud parents Jonah and Kim and Big Sister Hannah are doing great!

Today I decided that from now on I want to give the doctor’s office Jason’s cell phone number to call with updates instead of mine so he can break it to me if needed. I got an unexpected call from the doctor’s office while I was at work today. She was calling with the chromosome test results of the babies. She said that both of them were normal with no chromosome abnormalities. Well that wasn’t the news we were hoping for because she said now we have to test me to see if my body is doing something that caused the loss. Then she asked if I wanted to know what they were and immediately I said yeah b/c of course you want to know. But when she said “it was 2 little boys” I got off the phone as quickly as I could and I lost it. I wanted to know and I’m glad I found out but knowing that they were boys made it that much more personal. Everything that I was suppose to get to share with them immediately started running through my head, from practicing playing ball with them to teaching them how to hunt and fish. It was in that moment that I realized even more what I had missed out on. And what made it worse was knowing that they were ok so there was a good chance that it was me – my body that caused me to lose them. I felt very guilty. Jason reassured me that God was in control and that it wasn’t anything that I did.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Today my HCG level was 148. Keep on dropping!

Saturday, January 23, 2010 - Watch out she's armed and back in the woods!

I was able to go hunting today for the first time since the season started last November. I have either been sick or recovering from surgery the entire hunting season. So I’m excited to get to go! We actually went duck hunting instead of deer hunting b/c it was really windy. And I had so much fun! We just love being outdoors together! I’m looking forward to us going hunting next week too after work since the season is over January 31.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 - God speaks through a song

It’s very weird to want food again. I still feel sick but not as sick as before and I actually want to eat food. I never thought I would miss feeling so sick but I do. Also since the surgery my stomach is extremely swollen which seems like just a dirty trick.
God spoke to me today through a song. I was fixing to get out of the truck at the store after work and the first few words of a song got my attention. By just those words it was obvious that it was about a lady who had lost a baby. The verses talked about how each month she remembered how far along she would have been at that point and how when her due date came she remembered that was suppose to be the day. The chorus kept repeating "I know you don't understand and I know you question why, but it was best for me to be in God's hands." I immediately felt God speaking to me and began to weap peaceful tears. I wanted to know the name of the song and find the lyrics. So I called the radio station and described it to them. They searched and said they had never heard of it. So we searched yahoo, google, you tube, and itunes in every way possible for it - still no luck. So if any of you know this song please let me know. But I believe without a doubt that God spoke to me in a song just for me and I have peace knowing that "It was best for you two to be in God's hands" and we will hold both of you in heaven.

Friday, January 22, 2010

They have to check my HCG level (pregnancy hormone) in my blood each week to make sure it drops to less than 5. Once it drops to less than 5, then they can perform any tests they need to on me. Today my level was 1100 which is why I am still feeling some of the pregnancy symptoms.

Friday, January 15, 2010 - 2nd Worst Day of Our Lives

I really don’t have words to describe this day. I was overwhelmed with emotion. All I know is I am more grateful every day for my loving husband and for how much he cares for me. I couldn’t do it without him. We had to be in B'ham this morning again bright and early for the D&C. They asked me if I wanted some medicine to relax me in the room prior to surgery and I said yes. They said it wouldn’t knock me out b/c I had to move from table to table once I got back in the OR. They forget how sensitive to meds I am b/c I don’t even remember going into the OR. After that I remember Jason taking care of me in the room after the surgery and being wheeled down the hall to get in the truck. I really don’t remember anything other than l remember mom, dad, and Casey came over to check on me that night and when I got home I remember seeing and smelling beautiful bouquets of flowers on the bar from many people I am blessed to call friends. I do remember being pretty sore. Jason said that he talked to Dr. Honea after the surgery and she said that everything went fine and that we should get the test results back in a few weeks. He even secretly recorded their conversation on his iphone b/c he knew I would be full of questions about what was said the next day. :)

Thursday, January 14, 2010 - Worst Day of Our Lives

A day we will NEVER forget. It’s taken a long time before I was able to write this.
Honestly I felt good about everything and was confident that everything was going to be fine on this morning, so I wasn’t worried about the doctor’s apt and wasn’t expecting anything other than good news. Jason had some work appointments that day and I assured him that everything was fine and that me and mom would go to the doctor together. We had to be in B’ham really early as usual but I enjoyed the ride there with mom. Of course as soon as I get there they take your blood (if I have given blood once in the last year I have given blood 100 times). They immediately took me back to the u/s room. I asked mom to come with me b/c I wanted her to see the babies. The “expert” u/s tech turned the screen so we could see and said (with no compassion at all) “I’m sorry there’s no easy way to say this, but there isn’t a heartbeat on either baby.” I was in total shock, I didn’t say a word. She then spent another 10 min looking at other things and said that when I came out to go across the hall and talk to Dr. Honea. Mom hugged my neck and I got ready to talk to the doctor. When we walked in she spent the first 5 min going on and on about how great everything looked and I realized that she had no clue what the u/s tech just saw. I stopped her and said that the u/s tech didn’t see a h/b. She was so embarrassed b/c they are suppose to tell her those things beforehand. She was very compassionate and set me up for a D&C to remove them for the next morning. The purpose is to send them off for chromosome testing to see if that was the cause of the loss. She said best case scenario would be that there was a chromosome defect with them b/c then we would know the cause and it is so rare that the chance of it happening again is very slim. They let me out the side door and sent us to the pre-admission testing section of the hospital to fill out lots of forms for the next morning. Even still I have shown no emotion. I think it is partly b/c I am still in shock and also b/c I don’t want to get upset in front of mom b/c then she will get upset and I will just get worse. I just wanted to get home to Jason more than anything in the world. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t take anything for mom being there with me, I just didn’t want her to get upset. I needed her at that moment to keep me ok and that's what she did. I didnt want to talk about it and she knew that and kept my mind occupied on other things. It’s been hours since my doctor’s apt and we are still at the hospital so I am getting several texts from Jason wondering how it went. So I went out in the hall to call him and tried very hard not to lose it on the phone. He didn’t say much just asked what they said and what they were going to do and how was I doing. I could tell he was taken back. I didn’t get to talk long b/c I had to go back in to the office but I wanted him to know. Me and mom finally finished setting everything up at the hospital for the next morning and left for home. I still didn’t to get upset and I just wanted to talk about other stuff. So we talked about Casey’s wedding and all the ideas they are coming up with for their wedding. Jason would send messages all along the way asking how I was doing and where we were. When I got home Jason was waiting in the driveway for me and we walked upstairs and then and there was where I wanted to be. I was in his arms and I lost it. All we knew to do was hold each other. And he had done the sweetest thing – when he found out what had happened, he knew that the last thing I wanted to see was anything that anything to do with Christmas. That’s b/c all Christmas holidays we associated everything with the babies, how it would be our last Christmas without children, how we got the best Christmas gift ever in the babies, even had special ornaments for the babies, etc. And he was right I wouldn’t have wanted to see any of that. So Jason, Adam, and his parents worked feverishly to take down our 13’ live tree and all of the Christmas decorations in our home before I got home. And if you saw how many decorations we had you would truly appreciate that effort! That was just the sweetest thing ever. Love you Jason! He also put away anything in the whole house that had anything to do with a baby whether it be a baby shower invitation, my meds, u/s pics, etc. Sadly I still feel sick, but I know I have to rest b/c we have to be back in B’ham very early in the morning for the D&C. I will definitely take some Tylenol pm tonight so I will sleep.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Today I am officially 8 weeks. I am still continuing to be very nauseated every waking moment and I am still not sleeping. But my granny smith apples still taste good ha ha! I feel for the little lady that stopped to check on me while I was sick in the ditch on the side of the road on my way to work this morning in the freezing cold. Ha ha I keep telling myself that being so sick is a good thing. This is a totally new thing for me. I have NEVER been the type of person to sit still or to come home and sit on the couch much less lay on the couch. But ever since we started this whole process all I physically feel like doing is coming home and laying on the couch until it is time to go to bed-day in and day out. I hate it b/c I want to be up doing stuff but I just feel so sick. In the beginning it was due to the meds and lately it’s due to being sick.

Monday, January 11, 2010 - Could We Please Just Have One Exciting Ultrasound Visit????

Today is our follow-up ultrasound to check on the h/b of the smaller one. There was one strong h/b on the larger one and it is measuring 6 weeks 4 days. There is still no h/b on the smaller one but it did grow! It is now measuring 6 weeks 1 day. But I can tell the nurse is concerned about something. She said that the yolk sack was larger than they normally like to see it. But she said that nothing my body had done since day one has been “normal” so she really didn’t know what to think. We asked in unison what it meant when the yolk sack is larger than it should be. And she responded with “I hate to tell patients this b/c it could be nothing, but it usually means that there is a heart defect, chromosome defect, or something wrong with the baby/babies.” Again laying on the same table as last week my heart sunk. Why can’t I just go have an ultrasound and hear good news and leave excited. I didn’t know what to say, I just sat there emotionless. She suggested that we go see their expert u/s tech in B’ham for a second opinion. So we scheduled that for Thursday. Boy this was going to be the longest 3 days of my life waiting. We left the doctor’s office again dishearted. I had been so sick that me and Jason went to Babies R Us to get me some more Preggie Drops (candy that helps with nausea). I can’t take the prescription meds at work b/c they knock me out. So the candy helps to ease it a little. I am very grateful for Jason for so many reasons but it’s at times like this when he is just so caring and supportive that emphasizes that even more. He kept trying to get me to look at all of the baby furniture and strollers “and all” (that’s for you Jason) to get me to thinking about something happy involving the babies.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Our 7 week ultrasound. I have been VERY nauseated and the thought smell or sight of food makes me sick. Funny thing is there is one thing that when I think of it I think oh man that would taste good and that’s sour Granny Smith green apples ha ha! But man they are great! The morning of the ultrasound, Jason had left the house before me to get some work done in town before we left to go to the doctor. I walked into the bathroom and turned and faced the toilet when I felt like my head and body was spinning and I couldn’t control it then everything went black and I passed out. I fell forward and hit my head on the door facing to the toilet area. I am very lucky b/c if I would have been standing 3 inches to the right I would have probably busted my face on the toilet and lost some teeth. It scared me to death b/c I didn’t know what had happened and I was so startled. But for some reason I went and laid down in the bed and fell asleep. I woke up about 20 min later and realized that I had cut my head when I fell and was bleeding on the pillow. I just remember feeling very weird and I called Jason and had him to talk to me until I got out to town where he was b/c I just didn’t feel right. Well I ate a sausage and biscuit and drank a bottle of OJ on the way to the doctor. When I got to the doctor they checked my sugar and it was 64. So there is no telling how low it was when I passed out that morning before I had ate or drank anything , hence the reason why I passed out. So now the doctors want me to keep food by my bed and if I wake up during the night eat some of it and eat something in the bed before I get up b/c they said for some reason being pregnant is causing my blood sugar to drop. Anyway so at my ultrasound the smaller of the two sacks had stopped growing so we are down to one baby. However to everyone’s surprise the second sack split so now we have identical twins! This is very exciting to me b/c identical twins are not a result of IVF or fertility drugs – they are just a God thing. But there was only 1 heartbeat. The one with the h/b measured 6weeks 1day and other one measured 5weeks 5days. So they are both a little bit behind due to splitting. We are hoping that the other one will catch up and get a little h/b in the next couple days. Since they are measuring behind we are just hoping that is the reason why there isn’t a h/b on the smaller one. It seems as though every time we leave the doctor’s office from an ultrasound visit we always leave dishearted.

Sunday, January 3, 2010 - FREEZING COLD in Indiana!

Well as we leave Indiana the temperature on the truck says 0 degrees! I have to admit I have been the coldest I have ever been in the last couple days. But we got to see lots of snow, frozen lakes that we could walk on, people ice fishing, and the church where Casey and Emily will get married in July. However that was a VERY long ride home b/c I started getting really sick, nauseated, and had a migraine.

Thursday, December 31, 2009 - New Year's in Indiana!!!

New Years Eve! We left early this morning with Casey to go to Indiana to visit Emily (his fiancée) and her family. I have to admit that is the coldest I have ever been but we got to see lots of snow! We had a great time with Emily and her family and enjoyed lots of good food! Me and Jason made it back to the hotel in time to watch the countdown to midnight. However at about 11:45 I started feeling like I hadn’t ate in days and was starving. Jason was so sweet – he went down to the snack machine and got what we thought was bbq baked lays. However it was ranch and it was nasty so I couldn’t eat it. SO then he goes back down to the machine to get a pack of gardettos that we saw earlier. This time it took his money and didn’t give him and gardettos. So now it’s about 11:50 and he insists on going to the gas station down the road to get me something to eat. Keep in mind it is FREEZING there – the wind chill was in the negatives. I didn’t want him to leave b/c I wanted him to be there for the ball drop, but he thought he could make it back in time. So away he ran. The first store was closed so he had to go farther to get some snacks. Anyway he made it back at 12:02 to finish watching the celebration with me and we had lots of snacks too! Isn’t he the BEST!!!

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009 - 1st Ultrasound!!!!

Our 1st Ultrasound! My beta # has jumped up to 11,082!!! We saw 2 sacks (twins!) – so both embryos we transferred implanted! I am 6 weeks today – we were not able to see the heartbeats, but we will come back next week and will hopefully see them then.

To our children - We want you to know that we have never been so anxious for anything in our lives as we are to meet you. We pray for you everyday. I like to pray for you in your bedroom because it makes me feel close to you. We can't wait to meet you and want you to know that we love you more than anything. We are both excited to teach and share so many things with you. I think you will see that we are both two big kids ourselves. Most of all we pray that you enjoy our God. We pray that you will believe Him, trust Him, and seek Him. We pray that you grow in Godliness everyday and become a man/woman after God's own heart. There are so many things we long to teach you: how important family is, how to fish, ski, wakeboard, surf, hunt, back a boat in the water, play all sports, how to camp and build a campfire, where I grew up, how to cook your Dad's favorite meals, how to go creek riding, how to make fish traps and hunt for worms, etc. We have many fun years ahead! I also pray that you stay away from the evil of the world. I am scared to think of the evil things that you will face in your lifetime because this old world is getting worse as the years go by. But stay close to God and he will provide you with the tools you need to fight the enemy, and he will protect and keep you. Remeber there are two words that will change your life forever: "Yes Lord." We love you and can't wait to see your precious faces.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 - Happy Birthday Jason!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON – BIG 33!!!!!! We spent some time in Nashville and went to ICE! We are such big kids when it comes to things like this. But we had a great time! I think Barbara about froze ha ha

Sunday, December 27, 2009

We had a Christmas breakfast at our house - man was it good and the company was even better!

Friday, December 25, 2009 - Merry Christmas!!

Happy Birthday Jesus!  Celebrate CHRIST!!!!  This is absolutely without a doubt the most special and best Christmas ever for us!  We woke up and checked our stockings first.  Jason had overfilled mine with all kinds of thoughtful sweet things and candy!  Then we opened presents and he did huge with mine!  He had got up in the middle of the night in the freezing cold, pouring down rain, and high winds (which made it very difficult) to unload my new deck furniture from his parents van and carry it upstairs to our deck so it would be there for me to see first thing Christmas morning!  Isn’t that just the sweetest thing!  And they were very heavy pieces.  But I LOVE them!  He also got me too many other goodies to name.  His big item that I got him was a Glock 9 mm pistol.  He was totally surprised and didn’t have a clue he was getting it!  Next is Christmas at Nanny and Granddaddy’s with his family.  We are SUPER excited about how we plan to tell them b/c none of his family have even known that we have even been trying to get pregnant much less what it took to get to this point.  After eating and opening gifts we told everyone that we had a game we wanted to play.  We had been playing it up for a couple of weeks so it wouldn’t look suspectful.  We had ordered scratch off cards online that were so cute-I posted a pic of one.  The cards said “A special gift from Jason & Sandy Christmas 2009” and then each person scratched off the gold part.  We ordered two of the cards to say “It’s a Winner!” and the rest to say “Try again next year”, and we intentionally gave his two parents the winner cards.  We had two identical gifts wrapped for the winners-a box with a diaper in it filled with chocolate pudding and a note saying “You better get used to changing these!”  I wish you could have seen Jason – he couldn’t even put the pudding in the diapers without getting grossed out! Ha ha ha!  He says that when the time comes he will have to wear a gas mask ha ha!  But anyway everyone scratched off their cards hoping to win the wrapped gifts, and of course his parents win and are so excited.  So we hand then their gifts and tell them they have to open them at the same time and that they are fragile.  So they open them and just kind of sit there looking at it and we’re thinking well do something…  Then his dad looks at me with this look like are you serious and nodding wanting to me acknowledge and then his mom started screaming!  Everyone was TOTALLY surprised and excited.  I think within the next 30 min his parents had called everyone they knew.  So it was well worth it to keep if from them all of this time.  Madeline said that she thinks it will be 2 boys since the boys are out-numbered.  ha haNext we went to my Mom and Dad's house (we are so blessed to have them in Alabama with us now).  All of my family from MS was there, but they already knew the news so we just enjoyed a great meal, fun times playing dirty santa, and great company!  Family - a great place to be!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Our second beta test… Of course I have to go give blood first thing in the morning and then wait all day for the phone call that afternoon with the surprise number. Drum Roll….Our 2nd beta is…2004!!!! YAY! PRAISE GOD!!! That is a huge increase – which could mean multiples! This is the BEST Christmas gift ever! We are overfilled with joy! I have been VERY nauseated actually since the day before my first beta test. And it’s not “morning” sickness, its morning, noon, and night sickness! They expected me to be a sick one b/c when we were doing the IUI’s and I had to take the hcg shots (pregnancy hormone shot) they always made me sick. But I'm so happy to be sick!!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 - Patience Daniel Son!

The waiting to find out if it was a success is torture. But thankfully with Christmas around the corner that is keeping me busy and my mind occupied. I did have severe cramping on the second and third day after the ET, so hopefully that was the babies implanting! With all of these hormones in my system for so long I cant remember the last time I slept a decent amount of hours at night. I usually sleep about 4-5 hours total spread out over the night, which may be great for some people, but I like more ha ha.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 - BEST DAY OF OUR LIFE!!

This is the day we have been longing for! Today they will call with the results from my blood test (anything >20 hcg level is a positive pregnancy test). I have been on pins and needles all day! I kept my phone at my side all day. Then finally the call came later that afternoon after having given blood for it that morning! The nurse made me nervous b/c she was dragging out telling me. And then she finally said “I am just calling to give you the results of your beta test and your level was 122, congratulations you’re pregnant.” PRAISE GOD IT’S POSITIVE!!!!!! I was SO excited! I had a very special way of telling Jason planned if it was positive so I couldn’t wait to tell him! I had already had 2 migraines that day and wasn’t feeling great, and he was down in the shop. I have also had 5 migraines in the last 4 days. I called him and asked him if he could come help me b/c I wasn’t feeling good and I had taken red paint and painted on my belly “BABY (IES)” with an arrow pointing to my belly. When he came in the bedroom I asked him to look at my stomach b/c I thought I was breaking out. (This would not have been unusual b/c I had been experiencing some really weird symptoms all throughout this process due to all of the meds.) When I pulled my shirt up and he saw it his face lit up and he kept saying “What’d they say, so it worked?!?” Then he said “I’m gonna be a daddy!” “Let’s go take a picture!” I also have had a little onesie that has a stroller on it and says “That’s how I roll” for over a year now I have been waiting to be able to give him. He loved it! I can’t explain how excited we were and the joy that we felt! After all of those calls from the doctor saying “I’m sorry, it didn’t work”, we finally heard the news we had been waiting on! We immediately called my family (his family still have no clue of anything we have been doing), and our close friends. Of course we know it is early on, and we have to wait until our next blood test in 6 days to see if my beta # is increasing as much as it should to indicate that the pregnancy is progressing as it should.

Sunday, December 12, 2009

After church Jason and Dad put the lights on the tree and that night he and I decorated it. I can just feel it this is going to be the most special Christmas ever. We keep talking about how this will be our last Christmas together without children and how special that will be in the future.

Friday, December 11, 2009 - Christmas Tree Farm

I am SO SICK of laying on the couch and watching TV!!!! I have watched all of the “fa la la la lifetime” movies. So Jason took me to a Christmas tree farm in Athens to cut down our Christmas tree. We love a BIG live tree!
I have had 2 very strong cramping episodes on the 2nd and 3rd day after the transfer, which is suppose to be a good sign. I just have a peace and comfort about it all.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The nurse called and our third little embie did not make it to be frozen.

Monday, December 7, 2009 - Embryos Transfer Day!!!

EMBRYO TRANSFER DAY!!!!! (ET DAY) Only 3 embryos survived until this day from our original 6. Once again we travel to B'ham bright and early in the morning, but oh what an exciting day! I don’t have to be put to sleep for this procedure and Jason got to suit up to go back in the operating room with me. Jason got to watch Dr. Honea put our two babies in on the screen and I could tell he was smiling under his mask and tearing up - so special and sweet. Above are the two babies (embryos) we transferred. Obviously one is better quality and more developed than the other. After the procedure Dr. Honea prayed with us. We have to wait and see if the third one survives until tomorrow to be frozen. The bigger one is graded as an A-. She said that was an excellent quality and that they don’t see many that great. The smaller one was graded as fair quality with less than 5% fragmentation. She said there was a 50% chance that the good one would take and a 20% chance that the fair one would take. The procedure was not painful but now I have to be on bed rest (couch rest) for a few days to allow the babies to “stick”.

This picture was taken as we were leaving the hospital in Birmingham after the transfer. We were so excited and very anxious! We will not find out until 9 days if it was a success. But I am now technically "PUPO" - pregnant until proven otherwise. Ha ha Now it's in God's hands which gives me great peace because that is right where I want it. We have so many prayer warriors praying for us and that is a huge blessing to us and something we are very grateful for! We can't thank you all enough!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Nurse called – no change in the embie report. I have figured out that if I ice the PIO shot area beforehand that it doesn’t hurt AS BAD.

Friday, December 4, 2009

The nurse called with our embie (embryo) report. She said that on a scale of 1-5 (1=best) that one was a 1, four were 2’s, and one was a 3. YAY! Now I have to start the progesterone in oil (PIO) shots. These are NOT fun! Not only is the shot huge but it is in oil so it is super thick. The shots are so big and long that Jason called the emergency nurse line the night of the first shot and told them that if he sticks that all the way in that it will go to my “butt bone”! But she said not to worry it wouldn’t go that far. These are to be taken each night at the same time and have to be taken for many weeks.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 - Egg Retrieval Day! (ER)

I was very nervous because I was hoping for lots of great eggs. We had to be in b’ham very early that morning. I am extremely sensitive to meds so it doesn’t surprise me that the drugs they gave me that was just to relax me for the procedure put me to sleep. So I don’t remember the surgery and as always I was very hard to wake up afterwards. I just remember wanting to know how many eggs they got. Jason told me that they got 9 which we thought was great. I don’t remember much until we got to Athens other than every little bump in the road hurt. I started to hurt really bad when we got to Athens, which just meant that my pain medicine they had given me had worn off.

Thursday, December 3. 2009 - Grow Embies Grow!

The doctor’s office called and said that of the 9 retrieved, only 6 were mature, which isn’t as many as they would like to see. In fact it wasn’t enough for us to continue in the shared risk program that the doctor’s office offered. But all 6 fertilized, which is good. Now we just have to wait and pray they grow over the next 4 days! Grow embies grow!!!

I am VERY sore and it is painful to walk, but Jason is so great at taking care of me! He is the BEST Husband ever-his care and concern is overwhelming.

Monday, November 30, 2009 - No Mo Stims!

YAY NO MORE STIM SHOTS! Based on the results from the ultrasounds over the last several days, today we only take the hcg shot, which means that exactly 36 hours after the shot is the egg retrieval. We are told to take the shot at 11 pm and tomorrow will be a shot free day!

I have to admit until I got knee deep in all of this infertility stuff I was very ignorant of the process and what all it involved. So just in case some of you are less familiar with it, I thought maybe I should give a quick explanation of the process. Basically the female takes birth control pills in the beginning to shut her body down so that the doctors can control what your body does with the stimulation shots. Then she takes stim shots for a certain pre-determined time frame (I took them for 8 days). The stim shots make your body produce eggs so that you will have a better chance of getting several eggs from the retrieval. They also have several not so fun side effects. Once the eggs (follicles) grow to the desired size as monitored daily on ultrasounds, then she takes an hcg shot to make her body release the eggs exactly 36 hours later. The egg retrieval takes place by surgical means. The eggs that are determined to be mature are then fertilized in the lab. They are now embryos, and they are allowed to grow for 5 days before being transferred back into the female. Then several days later they do a blood pregnancy test to determine if any of the embryos that were transferred implanted into the uterus, which would result in being pregnant.

Friday, November 27, 2009 - Oh No Mo Shots

Well we are still doing the stim shots and starting today we get to add another shot to the list. I am so grateful that Jason is SO GOOD at giving me the shots!

November 26, 2009 - Thanksgiving!

We have so much to be thankful for! Praise God we are very blessed indeed! We are still continuing the stim shots, and we go to the doctor about every other day for them to monitor my estrodial and progesterone and to monitor the growth of the eggs via ultrasound. The hardest part about this process so far has been keeping it a secret from Jason’s family. He wanted it to be a total surprise to them when it happens because we haven’t even told them we have been trying all this time. Its hard to believe that they haven’t noticed the many times we have left early in the mornings to go to b’ham to the doctor, all the times I’ve been sick due to the meds, or was on bedrest at certain times since we live beside each other. It was funny b/c they kept insisting that went to FL with them back during the summer and we had to give them some excuse like Jason couldn’t take off work b/c that was during the time we were doing one of the IUI’s. And that requires having to go to the doctor on short notice, so we had to pass up on the trip. But they just kept on and kept on trying to convince us to go.

November 22, 2009 - The Shots Have Arrived - YIKES!

Let me first say that when we received the big box of meds in the mail I was nervous. I thought there is no way that all of these shots are for me. The nurses had given Jason (I am so grateful he is able to give me the shots.) instructions on how to mix all of the meds and how and where to give the shots. I think we read the instructions 3 times and called the nurse line twice to make sure we were mixing all of the meds correctly that first night. This was the first day of my stimulation shots, which go in the belly. Stim shots are taken to make your ovaries produce many eggs for the retrieval.

October 28, 2009 - Beach Bound!!!

We took a long weekend trip to Santa Rosa Island the first weekend of October and it was so refreashing to get away before we start the whole IVF process. It was a very unplanned trip, which I love. We decided on Thursday to pack up that night and leave the next day. The weather was perfect and we had an amazing time. We got to snorkel a lot and rented scooters and rode from one end of the island to the other and the scenery was just gorgeous! Riding our scooters was just like that picture with gorgeous beach and water on both sides of the road for as long as you could see.
As odd as it sounds the IVF process involves taking birth control pills (bcp) for so many days prior to starting the fertility drugs. This is to suppress your body and make it so the doctors can take over and control it. I started my bcp today and had to take them for 21 days.

September 2009

So we embark into the IVF (in-vitro fertilization) world.  We were told that even with IVF that we would only have a 50% chance of success.  But to me that sounded a WHOLE lot better than the 10% chance with IUI.  Anyone that knows me knows I hate needles and shots!  Well by this point I am immune to having my blood drawn, but I still am nervous about the shots.  But I am willing to do anything to be able to hold our own baby.  And yes that even means eating royal jelly (NASTY) twice a day-anything that google said would help increase fertility we did it.  Hopefully I will respond to the shots well and that will take care of my side of the infertility issue and by doing IVF that takes care of the male factor in infertility.

We were very blessed to get to get to play on the river every minute possible this past summer as you can see in the pictures.  I wish we would have kept up with how many hours we spent on the boat b/c we live for summer!!! Check out my surfing video below. This is one of our favorite things to do behind the boat.  

August 2009 - Cruise to the Eastern Caribbean!

Before embarking on the IVF journey we took a 7 day cruise to the Virgin Islands. It was amazing and we had the best time! Now Jason says he is a cruiser for life! Here are some of our pics from the cruise. The Flowrider was a blast but man did I pay for it for a couple of days afterwards, and it was a whole lot harder than it looked! I honestly felt like I had been beat with a bat! ha ha And I can honestly say that St. John's is the HOTTEST place I have ever been! We were so close to the equator that the sun was just so hot on you. But that's what they make the ocean for - to get in and cool off! We are already planning our next cruise!

We were referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) (Infertility Specialist) in Birmingham-Dr. Honea, whom we love very much. After months and months of MANY tests of all imaginable kinds it was determined that there were several hurdles for us to get over to be able to get pregnant-of which would require medical help. We first tried doing an IUI (artificial insemination) while taking fertility drugs. After 2 unsuccessful IUI’s, we met with Dr. Honea again to discuss options. She told us that we only had a 10% chance of the IUI’s ever working. I know that some insurance companies do cover several IUI attempts but because our insurance treats infertility the same as it does “cosmetic” surgery our insurance doesn’t pay one penny towards infertility. We decided that it was time to move to a more aggressive approach and a treatment with a greater chance of success. So we will embark on the in-vitro fertilization (IVF) route, and we are very excited and hopeful because we will have a 50% chance of success with it.